What I want for my birthday!

My birthday's coming up - I think I found what I want - my ipod's a bit old now, so I think it's time to upgrade with the I-TASER!!!!! - a combination taser gun and mp3 player! Awww, well, it's not really called that - and tasers aren't legal over here - probably a good thing too or I'd be in jail by now tasering all the assholes who bump into me at the supermarket or on the street! Time for anger management therapy??